4th grade teacher. You wore tight t-shirts. I was fascinated by your large breasts. I feel ashamed as I write that this is my strongest memory of you. Not your huge influence or your brilliance, but your breasts.

Grade 8 English teacher. Caught me and Robin cheating on a spelling test. Humiliated us. Enjoyed sexual innuendo. Favourite joke, “Did you ever wonder why we ‘go upchuck’? Wonder why we don’t ‘go uprobin?’ “. Pervert times a million.

Grade 3 teacher. You liked to read Encyclopedia Brown stories aloud. We learned multiplication and division. We wrote letters to Roald Dahl. Looking for a father, I asked if he was married, you chided me. I’ve never forgotten.

Grade 2 teacher. Suddenly school got hard and my parents were divorcing. You showed me much kindness before we moved mid-year. I wish I could thank you for letting me save face regarding the silly fib I told.